Tuesday 6 December 2011

Date #5 'The Friend'

I was keen to meet up with 'Date #5' because we both seemed to be involved in voluntary work with charities and he was a very motivated, goal-oriented sort of a person (so am I) and I find it very unusual to find someone with those things in common with me.  His photo, on the online dating site did not show very clearly what he looked like but I guess enough for me to see whether there was anything there.

Some people argue that it is a shallow person who decides for or against someone based on the photo on their profile and sure, if it was that alone then it certainly would be shallow.  However, physical attraction is still an important component.

We met in another cafe for coffee.  The script certainly gets a bit old when you're perpetually on first dates, however it seems the most casual, laid-back environment where you're in public for safety's sake, but are not tied down (such as dinner) so that you can run if you need to cut it short, and the awkward expensive "who pays" issue is not a big deal when it's a question of $4.

It was a nice conversation.  I did not feel physically attracted to him.  He was overweight but losing it and tied into some rigorous "boxing for charity" training which would have him lose more.  I wondered if I could find him physically attractive if he did lose weight.  I found some aspects of his personality charming.  I wasn't sure.  So the thanks and texts became a second date.  He had been given tickets to the semi-final of the rugby league with the Warriors playing - did I want to go?  I found a babysitter within hours!  One of the best dates I've had, they were incredible seats, we had an amazing view of the field and the game.  What awesome fun!  The not-so-great parts of the night was Date #5 texting his ex-wife during our date thanking her for the tickets she'd got him for father's day (couldn't it have waited?) and my having a blonde moment losing my car keys and faced with having to have him drive me home to get a spare key and then back again to pick up my car which I'd left at his house.  The blonde moment became blonder when I discovered them in my handbag as he had started driving me :-/  Embarrassing much??

Despite having a great time, I knew there was simply no chemistry and it wasn't going to work so I explained this.  To his credit, and my good fortune, he told me he'd still like to be friends and to this day, we have remained just that.  So I'd better not write any more about him in case he finds this one day and recognizes his story!!!

Just to say though, much later on he asked for a complete explanation thinking it was to do with our difference in faith and beliefs and I simply said that I felt we didn't have chemistry.  Very awkward conversation...  I am very appreciative though of his friendship and enjoying getting to know my new friend.

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