I had by now stopped my membership on the site Find Someone as well, and had only a few guys I was corresponding with. One seemed a lovely, romantic sort and stood out to me as quite unique. We talked on the phone a few times and as the result of a few text messages, he announced that he was coming up to Auckland that weekend, did I want to see him (he lived in Tauranga)? I mentioned that I would have my son with me as I wouldn't have time to make other arrangements and he said that was fine.
We agreed to meet at the Auckland Domain and take a walk in the park. He had suggested 3pm then suggested 3:30pm as he had a "meeting" in the morning (I'm thinking probably a blind date). This meant that I could not put my 2yo down for a nap in the afternoon and consequently he was tired. I had not anticipated how grumpy he would be though but perhaps I should have. In hindsight I shouldn't have agreed to it at all on the basis that I wouldn't be child-free. It's the first time I have ever taken my son on a blind date but because he was from out-of-town, I accepted. My little boy's behaviour was not really naughty (only had one small tantrum that I managed to deal with quickly) but did require so much of my attention and focus and my date's suggestions were not always practical - despite being a father, most parents have forgotten what it's like to have a 2yo or perhaps had less active children. He had suggested we sit and have a coffee but I knew that my son wouldn't tolerate it so in many ways I felt like I had to take charge and suggest what we did that would keep my son's behaviour at its best!
We managed to talk a little and he asked me a lot of questions about myself which made me think that he was interested, however there was a short lull in the conversation while we were sitting listening to live jazz in the park and afterwards he said he would get going and thanked me for meeting him. It had only been an hour - maybe 45 minutes. I knew that it meant he was not interested. It felt awful. All those messages where he was talking about how excited he was to meet me and so on, it felt so disappointing. And I felt frustrated that I was not able to have a date where we could really get to know each other without my son being there and taking up most of my attention. I wrote him a message as I closed my Find Someone account completely to say that I assumed things were not what he wanted and explained how I felt having my son there and gave him my contact details should he want to stay in touch. I had left my mobile phone in the park. By the time I got it back a few days later, I read the message he must have sent when he arrived back in Tauranga - that he "didn't think that it would work" and said I was a good mum and a good man would find me one day etc. etc.
He was a really nice guy. A gentleman, and I liked him. I have to say that I don't know if there was anything there because I simply couldn't concentrate on it with my son being there. But the rejection felt awful I have to say - whatever his reasons.
We agreed to meet at the Auckland Domain and take a walk in the park. He had suggested 3pm then suggested 3:30pm as he had a "meeting" in the morning (I'm thinking probably a blind date). This meant that I could not put my 2yo down for a nap in the afternoon and consequently he was tired. I had not anticipated how grumpy he would be though but perhaps I should have. In hindsight I shouldn't have agreed to it at all on the basis that I wouldn't be child-free. It's the first time I have ever taken my son on a blind date but because he was from out-of-town, I accepted. My little boy's behaviour was not really naughty (only had one small tantrum that I managed to deal with quickly) but did require so much of my attention and focus and my date's suggestions were not always practical - despite being a father, most parents have forgotten what it's like to have a 2yo or perhaps had less active children. He had suggested we sit and have a coffee but I knew that my son wouldn't tolerate it so in many ways I felt like I had to take charge and suggest what we did that would keep my son's behaviour at its best!
We managed to talk a little and he asked me a lot of questions about myself which made me think that he was interested, however there was a short lull in the conversation while we were sitting listening to live jazz in the park and afterwards he said he would get going and thanked me for meeting him. It had only been an hour - maybe 45 minutes. I knew that it meant he was not interested. It felt awful. All those messages where he was talking about how excited he was to meet me and so on, it felt so disappointing. And I felt frustrated that I was not able to have a date where we could really get to know each other without my son being there and taking up most of my attention. I wrote him a message as I closed my Find Someone account completely to say that I assumed things were not what he wanted and explained how I felt having my son there and gave him my contact details should he want to stay in touch. I had left my mobile phone in the park. By the time I got it back a few days later, I read the message he must have sent when he arrived back in Tauranga - that he "didn't think that it would work" and said I was a good mum and a good man would find me one day etc. etc.
He was a really nice guy. A gentleman, and I liked him. I have to say that I don't know if there was anything there because I simply couldn't concentrate on it with my son being there. But the rejection felt awful I have to say - whatever his reasons.
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